see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
