Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
