i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you would pick up someone in the library
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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