That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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