when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
