i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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