i will never coherently bang her
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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