She's JV to your varsity
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
