my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
