Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
