that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
