so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
