He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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