One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
