Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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