she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
