Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Randomize
