Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Randomize
