she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
