I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
