are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
