I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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