you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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