i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
