U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
