I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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