boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
