My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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