I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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