Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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