he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
