sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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