Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
