she looked like the bat from fern gully.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
