the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
