I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Oh god it's open bar.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
