I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
