im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
