Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
