Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
