i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
