We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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