I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
