i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
