I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
