It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
