I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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