Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
