I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
