people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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