She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
