Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize