I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
