so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
