i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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