You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
