a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
