need another drink. this is the easiest way
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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