I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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