if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
