I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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