rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
