I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize