i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
