and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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