he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
