Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
